Sometimes, at the end of a post I try to find a scripture that sums up where we are at or what I am feeling. This week, I found the verses before I knew the details of what I was going to write. On Wednesday I read Romans 8:24-25, and as it reverberated within me, anticipation to see how it was going to be animated in our life this week rose in my heart.
“For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it.” — Romans 8:24-25
This was a good reminder to tend the fire of eagerness in my heart that can so often flicker and turn to embers. With Abbie’s twice-yearly neurodevelopmental assessment coming up on Friday, I turned my hopeful thoughts toward that appointment, wondering if God was up to something.
At the beginning of the appointment we gave Linda, the neurodevelopmentalist, an update on how consistently we accomplished the program she gave us at the last appointment. As I was filling out this report I found myself repeatedly admitting, “was not able to accomplish due to tone until the last two weeks.” I felt bad for having failed to be a good “program mom”, but seeing the answers in writing made me realize that something has really changed in the last couple of weeks.
As usual, Linda was much more encouraging than disciplinary, understanding that our challenges were because of Abbie’s tone. We talked at length about diet, supplements, activities and then the new treatments we are doing for the hypothyroidism. She was very interested in this, but once we got on the floor to work with Abbie, she became amazed.
Abbie’s legs were soft, aligned properly, with good skin temperature even in her toes. When we laid her on her tummy she quickly fell asleep, and Linda said the words I was thinking, “Look at her…she could be any one of your children laying there…she looks absolutely normal.” And she did! There was no hypertonicity in her muscles, no over-rotation in her legs, her ankles were soft and flexible…
Abbie did move up one level in two of the six areas of assessment, which surprised me given the limitations we’ve had. So, that was a blessing but not the thrill of the day. It was seeing Linda’s face as she worked with Abbie, hearing her say over and over, “I am so, SO excited” and seeing my observations of Abbie validated by very knowledgeable eyes.
So, we have a new program with some very specific goals and it has been an absolute JOY to begin working with Abbie on it. When you are not struggling against the body it feels more like dancing than fighting — and I have waited a very long time to dance with my girl!
It’s almost hard to fathom the changes because they have happened so quickly. We went to therapy today and she did the best leg-bending ever — and we weren’t even working on her legs! Just to hold her soft little body is an exquisite luxury that might not be fully appreciated by mothers who’ve never had to hold slabs of steel or chunks of granite.
I was doing my Bible study tonight and was asked what portion of Daniel 5:1-9 struck me most. This selection is about a huge feast being thrown by the king of Babylon the very night that kingdom fell. There was much to choose from, but one word was neon to me…”Suddenly…” (5:5). Even after 3.5 years of this journey, it feels like God has shown up suddenly in our circumstances, and I am breathless with gratitude and anticipation.