Seeing Beyond Our Sight

I had fun running around this morning getting to be a mom to my boys. It was “Thanksgiving Feast” day at Kyle and the twins’ school. So, I made some chicken enchiladas (it was an “ethnic” feast) and picked up pizza. It was the luckiest day for Chase to forget lunch money because I took him a plate loaded with food from the feasting tables. We’re just now getting to a point that I can really participate in school life, and I am savoring it.

I came home to give Abbie a workout with Debbie. As she was catching me up on what had happened while I was at school, Debbie said, “At one point she was having a very good dream and had a huge smile on her face. Something looked different though, and it took me a minute to figure it out. The grin was prominent on the left side of her face!” The left side is still not as animated as her right since it was affected by her late-onset brain swell. When I heard this I looked down at Abbie, who was laying on her back on the massage table, and said, “Were you dreaming about running around and causing trouble??” Instantly I got a huge grin and dimple. She was dreaming about that!! We asked her several times and each time she got that pirate smile.

At three o’clock, just as Debbie was leaving and Genevieve was arriving, Carol also arrived to give Abbie a session of Healing Touch. Carol began by praying, as always, but this time as I joined her in prayer I felt strongly that I should stay during this session instead of using the time to catch up on housework. I stood quietly by, praying, for about 10 minutes and then I had to step out of the room to help the boys. I asked Genevieve to stay in the room in case Carol should need her. As I later walked back to Abbie’s room I passed the bathroom and heard Genevieve in there, sniffling. When she returned to her seat I mouthed, “Are you OK??”, and she quickly nodded “yes” but I noticed she had tissue in her hand and was occasionally dabbing her eyes.

I sat in the recliner across the room and watched Abbie while I prayed. At times she responded so powerfully to Carol’s gentle touch or movement of her hands. While this continued it was as if I was seeing her rise above her body. Now..don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t having literal visions, and this is hard to explain. But, while I could obviously still see her laying still on the table, I could also “see” her sitting up, rising, healthy and whole. I didn’t say anything about this to anyone, however.

After Carol left I asked Genevieve what was the matter. She teared up again and said that while Carol was working with Abbie it was like she could see her standing up. It was so clear that she really expected that at any moment Abbie would just leap off the table and say, “Mommy!” Given what I’d just experienced, this was especially strange, in a wonderful way. All I could say was, “We are getting close now! It’s right around the corner!!” This journey has stretched me in so many ways, and one of them is learning to trust that there are things to be seen with our hearts.

This evening we took the boys to a baseball game and saw many old friends. We were particularly excited to see Henry and Kathy Chun, whom we met shortly after moving here when their son played on sports teams with Kyle. Henry and I spent a lot of time at practice fields chasing toddlers; his Kobe is the same age as Abbie and they were quite a pair. I’d lived here only a couple months when I met Henry, so my ear wasn’t yet attuned to the local speech patterns, and Henry is about as local as you can get. I recall having to really work hard back then to decipher some things he said, things that I now pick up without thinking about.

Anyway, tonight Henry pulled me aside and said, “When we came to see you in the hospital there was something I wanted to say to you, but I couldn’t do it then. You were being so hard on yourself, and I didn’t know if it would just make it worse. But, you know, kids are so fast, and life is so crazy…you know all this wasn’t your fault, right…you know that? I just wanted the chance to say that to you before I died..’Thank You Jesus!’…now I have. Just like Earl, I can cross another thing off my list!” I didn’t know what to say, standing there in the middle of a ridiculously noisy baseball stadium, because that felt like a huge hug from God. I think I will always feel responsible, because I was the one at home with her, but God is again telling me that although that may be true, Abbie’s injury and the aftermath has been used for His purposes and there doesn’t need to be any assignment of fault. I was also blessed to see how heavily this has weighed on Henry’s heart. What special people God has surrounded us with!

We wish you all a terrific Thanksgiving! We will be having a peaceful holiday at home, and 24 hours may not be enough time to count all of our blessings…after all, we need to thank the Father for each of you!